The GRE is making feel moribund

Back at Palio, the only place in my general neighborhood where I can even pretend to get anything done. I tried a new locale today - the Starbucks in Sellwood. Get this - you have to pay to access their internet. That is ridiculous! I paid $1.75 for coffee and $2.45 for a yogurt parfait - and they tell me me I have to shell out some more money so that my computer can reach up in to the sky and grab a couple of internet waves? I don't think so. That was enough to send me on my way, back to this lovely place for a little local flavor and FREE wireless.

I started my day at 3:00 this afternoon after getting out of bed at 2:00. Yes, I realize that is ridiculous. I need to work on it, ok?

I'm shuffling through the old files in my brain again. The 'cities I would like to live in' files, the 'jobs I want but am totally unqualified for' files. Maybe it would be crazy to move again in December after moving to Portland in August. But it sort of feel like the right thing for me to do, if only because I like the idea of moving around right now while I'm young and the idea of being a waif is too appealing to pass up.

I do love this city. and the life I'm living is good for now. But it's a little too settled, too adult-feeling. I know that I am technically an adult now and therefore I should be attracted to an adult life. But I've heard too much recently about enjoying your 20s and not trying to hard to be a serious person during them to really settle in to domesticity yet. It's funny, because the very things that I found myself needing an escape from are the things that I miss the most now. I miss the crazy nights and the lifestyle that got me through college. I guess I'm not ready to give it up yet, regardless of whether or not I should be.

I'm thinking about New York City. And the more I think about it, the more I feel like it's the next step for me. Maybe I'm idealizing it now, just like I idealized Portland, especially because I can't get a job here and I have no leads whatsoever. But I know that coming here was necessary. If nothing else, it gave me the opportunity to re-evaluate my plans and have whole lot of time to think.

I need to get a little more studying done, and then I'm going to head next door to the video store to rent "Reality Bites." It's just the angsty, generation X, quarter life crisis-y movie that I need right now.